Off of t'telly

Remember Wayne from Project Runway? The nasal-sounding one with silver hair and a penchant for fetish boots? No? Oh, me neither. But if you do recall the competition and want to get Wayne's seemingly avant garde-ish designs into your wardrobe (just in case he becomes the new Galliano - in his dreams) his first collection launches in November at Debenhams.

All vague 'edginess' has been drained and the pieces look like generic High Street occasionwear. There are 10 items - mainly dresses, with a pair of wide-leg tuxedo-ish trews thrown in. The colour palette is limited to black, white and a pretty Wedgwood blue shade which, when made up into satin bustier dresses, looks cheap. The scenarios that keep popping into my head are; 'bridesmaid', 'Mother of the Bride' and 'posh Essex cocktail party'.

While Julien, Matthew, John and Betty have a large element of freedom when creating their capsules for the store, and can keep a modicum of their own signature style, Wayne has had to bow to the bosses (I'd imagine) and create a far more commercial collection. The plus side is that it should actually sell quite well. Including lots of little black dresses in trendy shapes (there's a cowl-neck LBD that I swear Mis-teeq would have worn circa 2001) will make it popular with shoppers searching for 'special' Saturday night outfits. However I'm still wondering if he actually likes the pieces he's put out and is proud of his acheivements so far.

Three of the best worst pieces
Monochrome cocktail dress with bow neck £100

I'm sure Victoria Beckham Chanelle would die for this dress


















Monochrome maxi dress with beaded deep V neck £180

Actually quite chic in a Halstonian / Julia Roberts in vintage Valentino way. My fave.



















Wedgwood blue lace-up bodice £70 and pleated pencil skirt £70 (back view)

Let me tell you a story; Danni-Elle was planning her wedding to Carl but found out her best friend, Tianne, was secretly shagging her husband-to-be. Instead of kicking Carl to the kerb (he played for Gillingham FC and had prospects you know) Danni-Elle carried out her revenge in the only way she knew; stylistically. This would be Tianna's bridesmaid outfit. 'Nuff said.

Down Boy.

Agent Provocateur have collaborated with Kurt Geiger on a new line of sexy shoes, taglined "Good Enough To Lick". The range will include stiletto heels, beaucoup de patent and over-the knee boots. Prices are around £275 apparently.

In the UK the range will be stocked at Harrods, and selected Selfridges and House of Fraser stores. Abroad you can find the fetishistic footwear at Printemps in Paris and Kurt Geiger's concession at la Rinascente in Milan. Of course there's the brand's website too. (AgentProvocateur.com).

And I thought that pole-dancing platforms were over. Silly me. In store October 24th.

Picture of Rie Rasmussen, admittedly not a shoe, but still looking quite foxy, from British Vogue.

How to make friends and alienate people

Saucy lingerie label Yes Master has been the victim of a spate of hoax emails announcing that the label is to close. Not true! The brands PR has been working on diversionary tactics to reiterate their undie operation. Founder Igor Pacemski must've picked up some fearsome enemies along the way. Why would anyone would go to the trouble of circulating a false rumour? I have enemies but simply can't be bothered to be that vindictive. I'm intrigued. Do I spy a fash-spat? Image from LadyBarbarella.com